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life as a dental postgraduate student part II

Saturday, March 7, 2009

in d days of yore..a sunday used to be a funday.. as a kid sundays were spent watching stuff like rangoli n chandrakantaa( even if i hv amnesia n dont remember my name, i’ll still remember damdami mayee, kroor singh n his 2 aiyaars n d “vish” drinking shivdutt!) followed by..”chaddi pehun k fool khila hai” mowgli… n then ‘potli baba ki’..watching tv non stop.. till d veins in ur head popped wid exertion!(forgot to mention shri krishna n alif laila)..
…enter teenage n d world starts revolving around ur frenz.. so sundays are spent watching movies wid dem..or trying to set one frend up wid another..(yeah dats d time when everyonez seriously falling in “true love”!).. scene’s pretty much d same in under grad wid “true love” changing to “true loves” n .. waking up before eleven becoming an absolute no-no thanx to d saturday nites… sunday was all about doing things u loved..reading d sunday supplement(esp d shobha de section), ur favorite novels, movies or simple stuff like pampering ur hair wid hot oil massages..wid not a single nagging thot in ur mind bout deadlines or commitments..well dat was THEN… dis post is all about preparing u guys wat to expect out of ur sunday as a post graduate student…
….. first of all a sunday is NOT a rest & relaxation day.
use d flouride “swish n swallow” technique to get dis imprinted in ur memory forever n ever! a sunday is a day when a post grad student realizes dat he’s been living in a pig sty for a week now n dat d white doctor’s coat he’s been wearing is now a weird mix of grey n brown.
…. n.. no thankfully a rat didn’t die in d cupboard it’s actually d stench from day before yesterday’s left overs.. n not to mention d unending calculations of ur weekly dhobi bills, canteen bills, doodh bills ur “favorite” sunday starts at eight( as usual) thanx to d irritating hostel maid who insists on mopping ur room whether u want it or not..followed by sorting out d overflowing pile of papers of ur L.D, thesis work, notes etc n when ur just halfway thru it u realize dat they’ll cut off d water supply at 12 noon so u rush to do ur laundry chanting “tikiya ragdo baar baar..” or screaming ur lungs out singing “washing powder nirma.. paani mein reh k bhi ye kam gale..dheron kapde dhoye aur zyada chale..” or any damn thing.. to pretend dat ur enjoying dis melancholous chore.. when ur done hiding ur chaddis n baniyaans in d safest corner of d roof farthest from d boys hostel..u suddenly remember d look of sheer concentration in both ur male co-pgs eyes as they count d hair in ur ‘moustache’ glistened by canteen ki lassi.. n vow to get ur upperlips n eyebrows done before people start making cute pony tails out of them! so d next two hours are spent trying to track down d “moti bhains” warden to get d gate pass outta d jail..finding a’ sawaari'(also k/a jugaad in meerut, tempo in delhi, vikram in lucknow n poond in punjab..coz no autos n buses in dis part of city..) n getting ur stuff done… before u realize it’s 7pm already.. n dats when d sinking feeling starts..coz u have three case records , one seminar n one lecture to prepare n while u’re still recuperating from dis traumatizing thot u get a call from ur senior ordering u to complete his case records for him instead…
………..welcome to d “upto ur eyeballs in d jackass shit” stage of pg!!!
d icing on d cake is when u stand in d HOD chamber feeling sick to d stomach(thanx to d nauseating sweetness of sugandh agarbatti n previous nite’s all niter) n get subjected to …”why d hell didn’t u do d work?(wid a tone dat’d put even male banshees to shame if there were any!) … u were free d whole day…. only a loser like u can waste a ‘beautiful’, ‘lazy’ sunday like dat!

signing off… duniya ka naara jame raho
manzil ka ishaara jame raho!!


Monday, March 2, 2009 life as a dental post graduate student

Monday, March 2, 2009

since this is my first post so lemme introduce myself.. im a first yr post grad student in oral medicine and radiology located in a remote place in uttar pradesh cut off from civilization for d past one yr.. atleast dats wat it feels when u’ve worked in delhi n mumbai before coming to dis hellhole! me n post graduation? wat was i thinking? this thot has crossed my mind zillions of times in da past one im basically writing dis blog for future post grad(pg) aspirates n also to let some steam off..

hmm.. first things first.. GOLDEN RULES OF P.G

RULE 1. P.G aka PALTU GADHA.. so dont be surprised when ur expected to do ur guide’s personal work eg booking plane tickets, phone recharge, bank work etc.. all in d name of getting dat coveted M.D.S degree

RULE2. GUIDE is NEVER WRONG.. read dat line as many times as it takes to sink it in ur system..for eg for d past 2 days i’d been trying to take d ideal canine radiograph but all my guide had to do to crush my spirit was to say d darned word”REPEAT’…(i actually started having weird dreams bout priests somewhere near d holy ganges chanting ‘REPEAT..REPEAT..REPEAT!)….. so after wasting 2 days and 62 films he finally decided to show me how it’s done..well guess wat..d radiograph dat he took had a huge cone cut!.. reflexes say – flash all ur pearly whites and give dat “c mine was better than urs” smile…. but d mind, body and soul of a post grad student says..’d technique is perfect sir.. there is some problem wid d tube head sir.. it’s loose sir.. not ur fault sir.. it keeps bouncing up n down sir… (even though d tube is so stiff it takes u all ur breakfast n lunch energy to move d damn thing!) u save d dumbass from getting embarrased n get blasted for not informing him bout “d loose tube head” earlier..

RULE 3 BECOME DEAF AND DUMB think dat ur on a “maun vrat”for d next 3 yrs.. or convince urself dat u’ve got dis seat on d handicap quota or get a tattoo of gandhiji’s teen bandar n change it to “kuch” mat dekho, “kuch” mat suno , “kuch” mat bolo..or watever crap it takes u to implement dis rule…eg again.. i used to party n freak out wid frenz just like everyone else but ever since i’ve become a p.g i’ve switched onto my “suzie banee sita”/” poo bani parvati” mode.. coz u never know when n wat may work against u.. i learnt dis lesson from an ortho pg who got drunk n yapped away all d good bad n ugly things about her guide, being extremely descriptive by using profanities, gestures etc… her batchmates kept coaxing her to have more n let it out of her system once n for all..dat was one yr back when she was in final yr…. today ..she still is in final yr. be vary of seniors who bitch bout others n try to instigate a response from even though they’re d ones who actually started d discussion.. d next thing u’ll know is dat u’ve been dragged into dis political quicksand …n dat my frenz hearlds a poor prognosis for ur survival as a pg.. u probably know all these things already but guys dis is different coz wat u do .. will mark d course of ur life for d next three yrs.. so no matter how tempting it is to complain, curse , abuse n bitch bout ur guide/seniors/batchmates… JUST KEEP UR GOB SHUT!!! n when in doubt just remember d old doordarshan road safety commercial “saavdhaani hati…. durghatna ghati..”

RULE 4 BUY A DICTIONARY DAT DOESN’T HAVE D WORDS LEAVES/OFFS/ VACATION/ HOLIDAY when i was working and even as an undergraduate stuff like dog died, grandmother died, nausea-vomitting-diarrhoea, real sister’s divorce/marriage/childbirth, roomie getting chickenpox n i think i have itching all over.. used to work like a dream..after entering pg.. its been 10 months n i haven’t been to my hometown chandigarh.. so even if u really have nausea- vomitting- diarrhoea all wid d clogged toilets n ur hostelmates avoiding u like plague thanx to d “jhonkas hawa ka” emanating from u every now n then.. u still HAVE TO ATTEND COLLEGE! “don’t worry just pop in a couple o norflox tzs n u’ll be fine” dats wat ur revered guide ‘ll say… wat? u don’t think so? forgotten already! just refer to rule no 2..(guide is never wrong)

RULE 5 LEAVE UR SELF RESPECT n EGOS HOME – as a pg ur expected to know everything on anything.. so when u dont answer(or even if u answer correctly but guide thinks its wrong) be prepared for stuff like…”why dont u get married n sit at home”, “wat did i do to get a loser like u as a student”, “i dont want to go to jail by passing u in exam”, “write a letter saying ur not fit for dentistry”, “even an idiot can answer dat” or worse be prepared to get either u can struggle to know “everything on anything” like me n get punished every day or u can stay outta trouble by doin wat my seniors do.. we call it ” CHATAAAEEE” a form of ego massaging wid oodles of maska for ur guide plus acting as a fool proof khabari (which pg said wat bout wat staff member)..

well actually i can go on n on wid dis gyaan wardhak post.. but it’s already 1:20 n i gotta get up early n prepare a case presentation on treacher-collin’s syndrome plus have to reach college early as well coz sir’s sugandh agarbatti stock is over.. which means dat i have to make sure dat it is replaced asap coz d first thing he wants when he enters his office every sugandh agarbatti..

signing off –
a “farz ki raah par matwaali rahi” first year p.g…. H.O.D ki jai!!

lost delusions

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